You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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