Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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