Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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