You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
