you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
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Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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