I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
