He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.