I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
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What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive