Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.