you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
