Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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