Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
