considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
