I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
