Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
