You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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