I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You ruined the universe
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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