you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
