I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
