did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
