he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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