sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
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I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.