yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC