Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
