i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.