I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize