so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
