I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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