oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
