Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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