'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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