Who wears a wallet chain?!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize