Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
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