Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
