hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
