belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you win again, gameday.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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