Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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