ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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