when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize