News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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