I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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