...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
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you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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