I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think your dad took our porno
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize