At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize