Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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