Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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