A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
