he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Randomize
