i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
