Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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