Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize