The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
