dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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