I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
