well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
