she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
