Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
