living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
should my penis look like a turkey
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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